What is it like to be a truly good mother?
I managed to discover it for myself only at the age of 36.
It’s not that I was a bad mother to my daughter during her first 10 years of life.
Whole lot of love and care shared in my family is the keystone of motherhood and perfect foundation for it.
But we all know that foundation is only the first step to building a solid house...
More and more women in the modern world tend to have no children.
And I know why.
When a woman says she won’t be able to be a good mother, she means she’s not ready to sacrifice her career, money, time, energy, looks, and God knows what else for her little baby.
She is not ready to take on the responsibility for a new life.
Thus, women create some kind of scales in their minds: on one scale they plan “Me”, and on the other – “A child”.
I, for one, was eager to be a mother, but I reasoned exactly the same way as those who were not ready to be a mother. In other words, from the point of view of self-sacrifice.
Well, my life will never be the same, and the most important thing is that I am actually doomed to live with a constant feeling of anxiety for my daughter.
But I am ready to sacrifice anything for her, for her smile, for her first word, for her first step, for her first kiss, for my first grandson.
She is my true purpose of existence. She is my life.
At the age of 26, it was too much for me to understand that being a mother could be a new opportunity of growth for me as a person.
Only at 36 I realized that my girl didn’t need any sacrifice at all.
Only after having experienced great loss and suffering, for the first time in my life I began to realize who I actually was and what I really wanted.
Having left an executive position and the job that I didn’t love, having refused to deal with boring but important people, having stopped being a “perfect” mother in the conventional Russian sense, I managed to find my true self and become genuinely happy.
Believe it or not, but my daughter is the main who benefited from these life changes.
Today I lead one of the most affluent and strong social agencies in the region, and I am a regional key opinion leader.
My girl is now 17 years old.
When she is asked to name her best friend, then among her peers she also mentions me, her mother.
I smile, because I know this is not just a compliment, but the truth. The plain truth.
Do you want to be a good mother? So be her.
Be a happy woman.
Be a free woman.
Be a self-sufficient woman.
A woman who loves herself and believes in herself.